The Man Who Sold The World Some Clothes

12:15 PM GMT 29/02/2008

An open letter to David Bowie by MOJO's Bill DeMain...

Dear David,

Last night I was in Target, browsing in Men's Clothing, and to my surprise, I saw your name on the label of a shirt. At first, I thought, "No, it couldn't be . . ." But then I turned over the cardboard tag and there you were, pictured with a designer named Keanan Duffty.

"This collection was inspired by David Bowie, a force that has defined fashion, youth culture and music for five decades," the tag read.

I looked at the shirts, pants and jackets, but to me, they didn't say David Bowie. They said Ryan Seacrest. They said twentysomething guys out with their girlfriends at P.F. Chang's on a Saturday night. In short, they said sleek, stretchy conformity.

David, as one of your devoted lifelong fans, I have to ask, "What happened?"

I grew up in the '70s, when you stood at the forefront of fashion. No, you were bigger than fashion. You blazed trails. You turned trends on their head. That lightning bolt streaking across your face on Aladdin Sane was like an electric current burning through the polyester ethos of that whole decade.

Maybe the Target line reflects how you dress now. You're 60, a family man, more conservative. Like you once sang, "Time may change me . . ." But you're still David Bowie. To lend your name to a line of menswear is a big deal.

So why didn't the designer study some old pictures of you for inspiration?

Well, according to Target's website, he did. The vest was inspired by the Thin White Duke, and the dress shirts by your character in The Man Who Fell To Earth. Hmm, I don't really see it.

I wonder, couldn't you have slipped a little more subversion into the racks than a black polo shirt silk screened with tiny winged Les Pauls?

Sure, the average shopper wouldn't necessarily go for the off-the-shoulder glittery body stocking you wore at the Hammersmith Odeon in '73. But how about the Berlin-era foreign correspondent look? The wool suit, belted overcoat and fedora. You'd have one customer right here.

I realize there are politics involved in collaborating with a corporation like Target, and bottom line, you want to sell your product. I don't have to tell that to the guy who wrote, "Fashion, turn to the left . . ."

That aside, after 30 years of holding you up as an innovator, I feel a little betrayed knowing that your foray into clothing should be so safe and nondescript.

Don't worry, I won't be trading in my copy of Hunky Dory or anything rash. I just wanted to let you know how I felt.

Hope you're doing well. Hey to Iman.

Sincerely,

Bill DeMain

P.S. - Remember those brown pleated trousers you wore on the Dick Cavett Show in '74? If you're not using them anymore . . .

Posted by Danny_Eccleston at 12:15 PM GMT 29/02/2008

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I can't believe Bill was moved to write this. David Bowie has been utterly irrelevant music, fashion and ideas-wise for who knows how long.

Bowie and his contemporaries all dress horribly and have done for years. Remember when every British rock legend over 40 all started wearing frock coats at the same time? They were truly awful.

Today, if they haven't taken the Bryan Ferry route of suits and open-collared shirts (like a vaguely fashion aware mid-level executive or City broker) they're wearing the R&R uniform of black t-shirts and trousers accessorized with a tiny bit of glitter, maybe.

Apart from Keith Richards, God Bless, who appears to be auditioning for the leading role in THE BESSIE SMITH STORY.

And, dropping a generation or two, what about the outfit Morrissey, ahem, sports in the photo accompanying some boring piece of shit about him in last month's Mojo?

The James Dean tie might be ironic but the shit-coloured brown shirt and matching trousers with the pointless little buttony bit on his rugby player hips - undone for no apparent reason? Jesus.

Those of us who grew up in the 70s when our heroes actually looked great and their image was all part of the appeal have to face facts. Rock and rollers look like crap now - and what's with those skinny jeans that make anyone who wears them look like Joey Ramone's sister?

A friend of mine made a good point the other day. How can you like a band where they look younger than you and you wouldn't ever want to look like them?

Mind you, the shirt in the picture is truly disgusting. And I thought Target was a parcel delivery company.

Posted by David Holzer at 5:39 PM GMT 02/03/2008 Report Abuse

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RE: David Holzer

TRUE! Last time I saw Morrissey perform on Later with Jools Holland he did look like a drunken dad at a party that he wasn't invited to.

Posted by Simon Ramsden at 5:12 PM GMT 03/03/2008 Report Abuse

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