Mojo - The Music Magazine

Episode 7. Sex, politics and architecture

Monday, January 12th, Hobart, Tasmania, Derwent Entertainment Center, 10:30 AM

The Henry Jones Art Hotel, situated on Hobart's old waterfront warehouse district is a Victorian-era jam factory that's been "cleverly" converted into a boutique hotel. There's a refreshing "open air" atrium with a glass roof that functions like a magnifying glass. A burst pipe has flooded the second floor. And the front desk have seen fit to lodge all 6' 7" of me in a room with a cross beam that runs its entire length, situated at a height of precisely 6' 6" - optimum conditions for repeated cranial impact. More on this architectural atrocity later...

In any case, I am breakfasting with Cave, when out of the blue he drops the bombshell: "Everyone has tinnitus."

"What?"

"Everyone has tinnitus."

"What?"

According to Cave, tinnitus is not simply a consequence of over-exposure to high decibel levels, but moreover serves as a natural neural defence mechanism to filter out unwanted, distracting or harmful noise. Whether stupefied by this revelation or mesmerized by his words, I embrace this premise without question, but as Cave rises gravely to recede unsmiling into the gloom of the hotel corridor, it slowly dawns on me that I find his explanation absolutely incomprehensible. Further investigation is clearly called for...

11:30PM

That night onstage at the Derwent Entertainment Centre, Chris Bailey announces that the only reason The Saints are appearing on the same bill with Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds is because he's had sexual relations with three of its members. True enough, but I want to point out to both Mr. Bailey and the Australian people, that like former president Bill Clinton, I do not consider a blowjob sex, no matter how skilfully administered.

Speaking of blowjobs, Tasmanian Premier David Bartlett invited himself along to the traditional Bad Seeds post-gig dinner. Witnesses can attest that Bartlett promised Cave to disapprove planned construction of a highly controversial pulp mill in Bell Bay, Northern Tasmania, if Cave would only serenade him with The Ship Song. Nick half-heartedly obliged him with a few lines from the song, so I reckon the ball is now in Bartlett's court.

If I may add my own two cents to this rather localized hot potato: Bell Bay admittedly already harbours a bit of industry and can hardly be deemed pristine wilderness; nonetheless, from the pictures I've seen of the neighbouring estuary and surrounding area, it would be criminal negligence to allow toxic discharges from this proposed mill to contaminate and spread.

On a different note, no less controversial to my mind, what's up with all these 9/11 bottle shops???

Read chapter 8. Where more Tasmanian devilry is afoot...