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Worst Ever Band Re-form!
5:19 PM GMT 06/03/2009
"What have we done to deserve Limp Bizkit... again!?" wonders MOJO's Danny Eccleston.
NOW I'M A NOTORIOUSLY broad-minded guy. Over-generous, some might say (I cringe as I recall a relatively positive album review I once gave Bryan Adams). What's more, I can see the value in most music, even if it's not my particular cup of tea. Because whatever I might have to say in a critical capacity, those guys and gals are up there, putting their tripes on the line to entertain bozos like me. They deserve a crumb of credit.
But I draw the line at Limp Bizkit.
Lumpen, melody-free, offensive, aggressive in a bad way, this was music so value-free that it ceased to qualify as music at all. Somehow Limp Bizkit combined the worst aspects of hip-hop and heavy metal in one testosterone-sodden plod. It was as if someone had taken the smell of a WrestleMania locker room and somehow moulded it into some records. If there was one mitigating factor it was the Buckethead weirdness of guitarist Wes Borland. But he hated being in Limp Bizkit nearly as much as I hated listening to them - perhaps more. Their ultimate badness was summarized in the title of their third record, Chocolate Starfish & The Hot-Dog Flavored Water, officially The Worst Album Title Of All Time.
Frontman Fred Durst's bellicose worldview - No-one likes me, and by the way, F-- you! - was reflected in songs like Break Stuff and Nookie, and while it would be unjust to make his band entirely responsible for the bad vibes that swirled constantly around them, the violence that marred their Woodstock '99 performance is a matter of record, as is the Australian coroner's critical comments in the wake of the tragic moshpit death of teenage rock fan Jessica Michalik at 2001's Big Day Out. Now I'm not suggesting every band play as nice as this, but is there really a place in 2009 for Limp Bizkit's knuckle-dragging nonsense?
Because it's not just the music, bad though that undoubtedly was. Remember Durst's constant fight-picking with other bands, his tactics as a label boss, and his ungentlemanly revelations regarding his intimacy with Britney Spears? They all suggested a man with problems he'd do well to discuss with a professional, but that's no reason to burden us - the long-suffering public - all over again.
Indeed. Enduring nu-metal - and its hairy, carb-loaded fratpals sports-metal and rap-metal - was bad enough at the time, as transatlantic culture surfed a wave of late-'90s prosperity. But for Limp Bizkit to return right now, just as the Credit Crunch really takes the gloves off, is almost absurdly sadistic - like that scene in the Woody Allen movie Take The Money & Run, where Woody is sentenced to a 10-stretch in chokey, then the judge takes his glasses off and stamps on them.
Here again, for those of you who were looking the other way in horror, is how founder members Fred Durst and his new best friend Wes Borland justified their return to the scene of the crime.
"We decided we were more disgusted and bored with the state of heavy popular music than we were with each other. Regardless of where our separate paths have taken us, we recognize there is a powerful and unique energy with this particular group of people we have not found anywhere else. This is why Limp Bizkit is back."
First, "heavy popular music"? WTFIT? Secondly, shouldn't that be "powerful and unique money"? And thirdly, aren't they admitting that they are, at least to some degree, "disgusted and bored with each other"? Is that a sturdy, non-cynical platform upon which to relaunch themselves, or rather a typical fungoo sign to their fans by the most charmless band of all time?
Limp Bizkit used to come out of a giant toilet bowl on stage. Couldn't they just crawl right back in there, and flush?
Danny Eccleston
Posted by Danny_Eccleston at 5:19 PM GMT 06/03/2009
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Comments
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There is nothing more to be said. Danny has said it all. All we can now do is collectively think lots of bad thoughts against Bizkit types and hope they will go away again... for ever...
Posted by simon F at 6:53 PM GMT 06/03/2009 Report Abuse
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RE: simon F
yes, but you say it like it's a bad thing!
Posted by Anonymous at 8:34 PM GMT 06/03/2009 Report Abuse
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RE: Anonymous
...plus Dan is most likely one of those nice English people, with spectacles
Posted by Anonymous at 8:35 PM GMT 06/03/2009 Report Abuse
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They reformed with Wes Borland in 2005 and sold about 14 copys of The Unquestionable Truth, Pt. 1...so what's different now? American Idiot not on the charts to compete with? Is this Part 2? Good Lord watch out Fleet Foxes!
Posted by Anonymous at 11:51 PM GMT 06/03/2009 Report Abuse
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I think i would be better just to ignore and not write a word about it... 'cause i'm sure i would not know about it if you hadnt =)
Posted by Elvis Has Just Left The Building at 2:53 PM GMT 07/03/2009 Report Abuse
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What's the point to this piece?
Obviously this is not a band for old farts like us and the writer just painted himself in that corner. It really would have been a challenge to write something positive about LB but it's easier to write something negative about Durst and co. Bizkit bad- Fleet Foxes good? Makes LB a whole lot easier to like in my book, just to piss all those 'selfrespecting' journos off. And that while it's not my fave band by a long stretch!
Posted by maarts at 8:41 AM GMT 08/03/2009 Report Abuse
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Very good points well made Danny. What makes this un-musical filth think that they actually have any importance to anyone? They were a joke band! Not a joke band in the sense that they are producing quality funniness. But that they are a complete fucking joke and should not only be laughed at but scorned upon. Flush this shit down the toilet once and for all!
Posted by Bob The Crab at 9:13 AM GMT 09/03/2009 Report Abuse
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Hang on a minute, Limp Bizkit pretty much defined the nu metal era along with Linkin Park and Korn (also amazing bands.)I'm sure that the 50,000 people who will be watching LB at Donnington (Download Festival) will thoroughly enjoy them, as I definatley will be.
Break stuff is the perfect bad mood song.
Posted by Loulabell at 1:13 PM GMT 09/03/2009 Report Abuse
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RE: :LB
....now, there's one, how about a mash-up with LB, Fleet Foxes and that sensitive man from Bon Iver - "for Emma, whereever i may shag her"
Posted by Anonymous at 7:23 PM GMT 10/03/2009 Report Abuse
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RE: Sweary Stan
get you head out of your editor's and wife's ass and write something positive....channel some positive energy dude!
Posted by scar at 2:54 AM GMT 11/03/2009 Report Abuse
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...or a mash with LB and the Grateful Dead - "sunshine's out of your ass daydream, it's my way or the friend of the devil's highway", featuring band in matching red caps worn with electric blue tie-die shirts...ummmm, lovely....
Posted by Anonymous at 7:19 PM GMT 11/03/2009 Report Abuse
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...oh, and the rhythm section wouldn't be crap, but Wes and Jerry would need to work on their steps, together, which i would like to see
Posted by Anonymous at 7:24 PM GMT 11/03/2009 Report Abuse
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RE: Anonymous
nasty
Posted by bingo at 7:28 PM GMT 11/03/2009 Report Abuse
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RE: bingo
sell some DVD, though
Posted by Anonymous at 7:31 PM GMT 11/03/2009 Report Abuse
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Just thought I'd point out the obvious and state: notice how the tone and quality of the comments dropped exponentially when Limp Bizkit fans joined in. Speaks volumes.
Posted by AC at 7:49 AM GMT 15/03/2009 Report Abuse
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RE: AC
it's an angry world, sometimes
Posted by Anonymous at 5:37 PM GMT 15/03/2009 Report Abuse
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Posted by jyqulxo pnodjsfhl at 9:30 AM GMT 17/03/2009 Report Abuse
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Posted by jyqulxo pnodjsfhl at 9:31 AM GMT 17/03/2009 Report Abuse
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Posted by jyqulxo pnodjsfhl at 9:32 AM GMT 17/03/2009 Report Abuse
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Great piece Danny; they had their chance -like every band out there- to impress. And they didn't. Of course they have a lot of fans, because most of people don't give a s**t about art. They should call it off forever. And for their fans; move on, there's a lot of great bands that need your attention... bands who are working hard to make good music, not lazy money makers like LB.
cheers
Posted by anonymous at 3:27 PM GMT 20/03/2009 Report Abuse
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Let's face it....this band got back together for two reasons:
1. To try and rip off their fans....again.
2. What else have they got to do?
Posted by Anonymous at 4:24 AM GMT 22/03/2009 Report Abuse
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RE: Anonymous
.......there's a lot of that around
Posted by Anonymous at 6:44 AM GMT 26/03/2009 Report Abuse
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Good site, admin.
Posted by Lexus at 7:18 AM GMT 14/04/2009 Report Abuse
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RE: scar
oohh what a scary name you have.
Are you a septic by any chance?
Posted by gruntfuttuck at 5:05 PM GMT 24/04/2009 Report Abuse
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